Saturday, June 1, 2013

Hi. My Name Is Rachel, And I Am A Food Addict.

So it took me twenty two years, but I am finally able to admit it... I am a food addict. Now don't get me wrong, I also have other things going on in my head that add to my weight problems, but being a food addict is the number one factor to my obesity. How did I find out that I was a food addict? Well, with every "diet" or eating plan I had ever been on, I always ended up relapsing afterward. Now, when I say relapse, I don't mean eating a hamburger and fries for lunch one day. I am referring to eating ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING around me... and this happened Every. Single. Time. It wasn't just the relapsing that tipped me off, but it was also the secret eating. After a friend or family member left the room, I was eager to go to the fridge or cabinet and grab something to eat. I was not sure what to do or how to approach my problem, and after looking into Overeaters Anonymous, a friend introduced me to Food Addicts In Recovery Anonymous (FA). I acquired a pamphlet about FA, and this questionnaire was on the back.

Am I a Food Addict?

To find out, answer the following questions as honestly as you can.

Have you ever wanted to stop eating and found you just couldn't?

Do you think about food or your weight constantly?

Do you find yourself attempting one diet or food plan after another, with no lasting success?

Do you binge and then "get rid of the binge" through vomiting, exercise, laxatives, or other forms of purging?

Do you eat differently in private than you do in front of other people?

Has a doctor or family member ever approached you with concern about your eating habits or weight?

Do you eat large quantities of food at one time (binge)?

Is your weight problem due to your "nibbling" all day long?

Do you eat to escape from your feelings?

Do you eat when you're not hungry?

Have you ever discarded food, only to retrieve and eat it later?

Do you eat in secret?

Do you fast or severely restrict your food intake?

Have you ever stolen other people's food?

Have you ever hidden food to make sure you have "enough"?

Do you feel driven to exercise excessively to control your weight?

Do you obsessively calculate the calories you've burned against the calories you've eaten?

Do you frequently feel guilty or ashamed about what you've eaten?

Are you waiting for your life to begin "when you lose the weight"?

Do you feel hopeless about your relationship with food?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, then you may be a food addict. You are not alone. FA offers hope through a real solution to food addiction.

Quoted from the Food Addicts In Recovery Anonymous webpage

If I answered yes to ANY of the following? I ANSWERED YES TO ALL OF THEM!!!!! I knew I had a problem, and it was time to fix it. As with anything, I was skeptical, but I went to a meeting and tried it out. I was told that I should find a sponsor and buy a few books, a food scale, and a bathroom scale for the program. I eagerly went home and ordered the books off of amazon, and tried to find an online eating plan I found, THAT WAS TOTALLY WRONG from the real eating plan. Either way, I failed again. See? FA is just like any other plan... But wait! I was on my own, without a sponsor, without meetings, and I didn't even know what I was supposed to be doing.

I decided to really give it a try, and I went to meeting number two. This meeting was SO much better. Everyone was thin and gorgeous, and they all promised that with the program, I could look as great as they did. I was in! I found a sponsor, and began program last Sunday. We are told to focus on one day at a time and not to worry about any day but today. I eat three meals a day, with no snacks in between, and if I get hungry, I drink water, coffee, tea, etc. It was difficult to get started, because there is just so much to take in. Three meetings a week, weighing every meal, talking to a sponsor every day, special readings, etc? How could I do all of this in my hectic schedule?!?!

One Day At A Time.

Here are some pictures of my meals each day :]

As much as one day at a time is wonderful, my addiction to not my food, but my scale, was eating at me. (Haha get the pun?) I used to weigh myself multiple times a day. In the morning, after breakfast, after working out, at night with no clothes balancing on my tip toes, etc. I was obsessed. I wasn't able to see it, and I convinced myself that the scale was keeping me accountable. I came to learn that only I can keep myself accountable. FA only allows me to weigh myself once a month! Only once a month? That is literally at least 60 times less a month than I normally weigh myself. Nervous and anxious, I gave up the scale. Since I weigh in each month on the first, I only had to wait six days for a weigh in. This helped a bit, and I was able to make sure that the plan was "working". I worriedly stepped onto the scale this morning. FA was supposed to be the end all and be all of eating programs. If this didn't work, what would I do? I was told most people lose 10-15 pounds the first month, so I had expected to only have given away 2 or 3 pounds. I placed both feet flat on the scale and looked down. I was down 7.3 pounds in six days! It was a miracle.

I have already decided I'm not going to let any negative comments about my choice of program get to me. I will not listen to them, so don't bother telling me if you don't approve. I have abstained from bad eating habits for 7 full days, and I am damn proud of myself. If you have any positive feedback, I'd LOVE to hear it <3

Thanks for reading :]

Rachel