Going, Going, Gone!

Well it has been about a year since I have posted on my blog, and I am going to be honest.... it is because I was gaining weight and not being healthy. I was eating a lot. I was eating everything. I wasn't happy. Now don't get me wrong, I was trying, but sometimes trying just doesn't work. I would start out a day eating yogurt and fruit, and end up eating 5 pieces of pizza for dinner. Losing weight and being healthy is hard.

It's. Really. Hard.

I ran the Hollywood Half Marathon this weekend, and originally, I was hoping for a PR (personal record), but after mile 4, I walked the majority of the other 9.1 miles. I was tired, I was hot, and I was not ready. A month ago, I PR'd at 3:07:57, which to some is slow. To me, that is almost an hour faster than my first half marathon on January 2, 2013. I completed the Tinker Bell Half Marathon with RunDisney in 4:01:55.

I have come a long way, but still not far enough.

I used to weigh 310 pounds, and through a number of surgeries, programs, diets, etc, I made it all the way down to 150 pounds. It was great, and I loved it, but I did not maintain it. I have officially gained back 68 of the 160 pounds I had originally lost. It is time to re-lose that 68 pounds. I woke up this morning feeling determined, feeling ready. I have my first full marathon in

47 Days, 20 hours, and 34 minutes

I am scared. Part of me knows I am not ready, and I cannot do it. But the other part is excited. The other part hopes that if I eat right and exercise well for the next 47 days, I can be ready to run my first full marathon and hopefully lose the 18 pounds I would like to lose by the marathon. Here are my goals:

May 31, 2015

Weight: 200 pounds

Distance: 26.2 miles

Time: Less Than 7 Hours

Because it is my first, I do not care about finishing fast. I really want to finish under 7 hours and finish in the upright position. For the next 47 days, I will eat right. I will exercise according to the plan my trainer has given me. I will not give up. I will not stray. I mean, it is only 47 days, right? One day at a time, I can do this. If I will it, it is no dream. Someone told me this morning,

"Every day, think as you wake up, today I am fortunate to be alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it. I am going to use all my energies to develop myself, to expand my heart out to others; to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings. I am going to have kind thoughts towards others, I am not going to get angry or think badly about others. I am going to benefit others as much as I can.”

I will do just that. I will be the best person I can be. It is only up to me. Not others, but myself. Today is the day, and I am ready.