Bandages Coming Off

So the tape on the stitches started to peel today, and I ended up taking the tape off completely. The incision is healing nicely, and I am pleased with the results. I am still having issues with my food, so I am hoping that that will be solved soon. I want recovery in all areas: physical, spiritual, and emotional. One can only hope, right? Tomorrow I start again on day one. I hate starting over, but I think this is it. I am making promises to myself and adding some new tools. For instance, I am going to promise myself to listen to at least two Beit T'Shuvah songs and make at least three phone calls before eating non-abstinent food. This is a promise to myself, so I will hopefully keep them.

Tomorrow I am going to see the surgeon, and I will hopefully be getting my drains out. I hope he takes out both of them, but I have a feeling that he will only take out one. I would like to start working out and taking showers, which I can't really do with the drain tubes in. Tomorrow I will do a lot of walking, if not jogging. I want to see what my body can handle right now. I am also going to meet with a potential wedding vendor, so I should be plenty busy and not eat. I need to use my tools more when I get weak. I need to lean into program and trust that G-d will take away my food cravings. I know it is only one day at a time, and I know that even after 18 years, I could break. All we have is one day. It is not a race. We are all in this together.