I decided today that I am going back to my apartment on Saturday instead of Monday for convenience reasons. I need to prepare food and get ready for the week, and I also have a bat mitzvah to attend Saturday evening and a meeting to attend to on Sunday. Instead of driving back and forth three or four times, I will only need to drive down there once.
Other than being upset about the drains, I am having a hard time with my abstinence today. All I can think about is pizza, bagels, crackers, and other flour and sugar products. I try to be more open about needing help and a healthy support system, but it is hard for me to reach out when I want to eat. All I want to do is isolate and eat by myself, but lately I am trying to reach out more. It is one of the hardest things for me to do, but I am working on it.
Today is day three of my abstinence, and I am almost starting day four. It is only one day at a time, and I am thankful for every hour that I stay out of the food. know I have ben struggling lately, but I have hope for recovery. I am talking to my sponsor more about my issues and being more honest with my sponsor and my food. I look forward to start going back to meetings on Sunday. Im pretty sure that I am going to 5 meetings next week, and I hope it jumpstarts my program and my abstinence. Let's hope so.
Sometimes I am able to change my thinking about food cravings by thinking, "Sure, that pizza/bagel/donut will taste great, but how am I going to FEEL afterwards?" Is eating that going to make me feel good about myself? Will I be proud of myself? Or am I going to be remorseful and beating myself up because I slipped. Also, am I going to be sorry about it later because, since I'm not used to eating that way anymore, it's sitting like a big rock in my stomach and I'm gonna be miserable all night?" Take a walk, read a book, call a friend ... drink a lot of water ... anything that might curtail your cravings. :)
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