T-5 Days Until Surgery

So I am having the panniculectomy surgery on Friday, and I am a little nervous. I have never had a "normal" body, and it is my first step surgically to help me reach my goal of feeling comfortable in my own body. I have a lot of skin, and sometimes I just feel like a fraud. I may look good with clothes on, but when I look at myself in the mirror, I can see where my body used to be. I can see the stretched out body that I used to fill and the pain that comes with it. I do not feel like the body I have is my real body. It just feels fake.

Friday, they will be removing the skin from my belly button down. They will cut me from hip to hip and remove my "skin apron" that has been created from rapid weight loss. Although skin is elastic and can grow back somewhat, it is similar to a rubber band: once it reaches a certain limit, there is no going back. Surgery will remove a lot of the skin and make my body look a little bit more "normal". Now, I am not doing this surgery to look hot or to get a great bod. If I wanted to look good, I would have paid for the tummy tuck (a whole different surgery)! I am getting the surgery to feel better in my own skin and to get rid of the part of my body that honestly feels like a tumor.

I will be taking before and after photos and posting them on here so those who are interested can see them. I will also be blogging every day to talk about not only my recovery in FA but by recovery from surgery as well. I hope it will be useful and inspirational for those who need it.